Blonde Jokes – Whenever a good joke comes into the picture, it can lead to many positive benefits. It improves your blood flow and makes your heart strong. It can protect you from any cardiovascular health risk. It even burns calories. Yes, you read that correctly. Of course, going to the gym and doing regular workouts will have major results but one study found out that laughing for 10-15 mins can burn almost 40 calories. Enough to lose 3-4 kgs in a year.
A good joke can lift your mood and releases your anger. Nothing soothes the anger and heavy mood swings more than laughter. Try to look at life from a funny side. Diffuse your anger, sadness and have a great time with your family and friends. Making yourself feel happy makes you feel less bitter and resentful towards life and others’ behavior.
Apart from removing pain and sadness, good jokes and laughing gives your confidence and power to find happiness in new things and hope in life. During difficult times laughing or just a small smile can go a long way to make yourself feel ok. It is said that laughter is quite contagious and hearing a goof laugh activates your brain cells to realize dopamine and make you feel relaxed and happy. Enjoying jokes and the company of your friends has a positive impact on your body. A sense of humor makes you optimistic towards tough times, loss, and disappointments.
It also increases your energy and makes you more focused on your work. A clear mind makes you look at certain situations from different perspectives i.e. more realistic and less negative side. It reduces your mental conflicts and helps to handle any kind of situation in a normal sane way. Listed below are some Humor-filled Blonde jokes, check them out.
Hilarious Blonde Jokes
Why did the blonde stare at the can of orange juice? It said “concentrate.”
What do you call a blonde with half a brain? Gifted!
How do you make a blonde’s eyes light up? Shine a flashlight in her ear.
Why did the blonde take a ladder to the bar? She heard the drinks were on the house.
What does a blonde say when you blow in her ear? “Thanks for the refill!”
Why don’t blondes like making Kool-Aid? Because they can’t fit eight cups of water in the little packet.
What do you call a blonde with two brain cells? Pregnant.
How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.
What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.
Why don’t blondes use bookmarks? They prefer to bend the page corners.
What did the blonde say when she saw the sign that said, “Airport Left”? “Huh? I thought it was spelled ‘airplane’!”
How do you keep a blonde busy for hours? Write “Please turn over” on both sides of a piece of paper.
Also Read: – 80+ Best Funny Knock Knock Jokes for Kids and Adults
Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the bar? She heard the drinks were on the house.
Why did the blonde keep a coat hanger in her back seat? In case she locks the keys in her car.
What do you call a smart blonde? A golden retriever.
What do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet? Last year’s hide-and-seek champion.
Why don’t blondes make good secretaries? They can’t spell “incompetent.”
How do you drown a blonde? Put a scratch-and-sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.
What’s the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.
Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet? She didn’t want to wake up the sleeping pills.
Why did the blonde climb the glass wall? To see what was on the other side.
How does a blonde turn on the light after sex? She opens the car door.
Why did the blonde get excited after finishing a puzzle in six months? The box said, “2-4 years.”
How do you make a blonde’s eyes twinkle? Shine a flashlight in her ears.
What did the blonde say when she saw the Cheerios box? “Omg, donut seeds!”
Why did the blonde get excited about finishing a jigsaw puzzle in six months? Because the box said, “2-4 years.”
Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the bar? She heard the drinks were on the house.
Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice? Because it said “concentrate.”
How do you drown a blonde? Put a mirror at the bottom of a pool.
Why did the blonde tiptoe past the medicine cabinet? She didn’t want to wake up the sleeping pills.
Dumb Blonde Jokes
What’s the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball? You can only fit three fingers in a bowling ball.
What do you call a blonde with a brain? A golden retriever.
How do you confuse a blonde? You don’t, they’re born that way.
What do you call a blonde with a dollar bill on her head? All you can eat, under a buck.
Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the bar? She heard the drinks were on the house.
Why did the blonde get locked out of her car in the rain? She couldn’t find the keyhole.
How do you make a blonde’s eyes light up? Shine a flashlight in her mouth.
What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? “I wonder if it’s mine.”
Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the bar? She heard the drinks were on the ceiling.
How does a blonde turn on the light after sex? She opens the car door.
Why did the blonde take a ruler to bed? To measure how long she slept.
What do you call a blonde with a PhD? A liar.
Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory? She kept throwing out all the W’s.
How did the blonde try to kill the bird? She threw it off a cliff.
Why did the blonde stare at the can of orange juice? Because it said “concentrate.”
How do you make a blonde laugh on a Saturday night? Tell her a joke on a Tuesday.
What do you call a blonde with a brunette wig? An undercover intelligence agent.
Why did the blonde get excited after finishing a puzzle in six months? The box said, “2-4 years.”
How do you make a blonde’s hair curly? Give her a straightener and tell her to use it on her brain.
What do you call a blonde with a chainsaw? An artist.
Why did the blonde stare at the frozen orange juice? Because it said “concentrate.”
How do you keep a blonde in suspense? I’ll tell you tomorrow.
What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair brunette? Artificial intelligence.
Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the bar? She heard the drinks were on the house.
What did the blonde say when she saw the “Under 17 not admitted” sign? “I’m only 16!”
How do you drown a blonde in the bathtub? Throw in a hairdryer.
Why did the blonde go to the dentist? To get her Bluetooth fixed.
What do you call a blonde with a dollar bill on her head? All you can eat, under a buck.
Why did the blonde get excited about finishing a jigsaw puzzle in six months? Because the box said, “2-4 years.”
What’s the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball? You can only fit three fingers in a bowling ball.
What do you call a blonde who has dyed her hair black? Artificial intelligence.
Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the bar? She heard the drinks were on the house.
How do you confuse a blonde? Ask her to alphabetize a bag of M&M’s.
What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? “I hope it’s mine!”
Why did the blonde bring a spoon to the desert? Because she heard there would be “sandwiches.”
How do you make a blonde’s eyes sparkle? Shine a flashlight in her ear.
What’s a blonde’s favorite rock band? Air Supply.
Why did the blonde take a ladder into the bar? She heard the drinks were on the house.
How do you know a blonde has been using the computer? There’s white-out on the screen.
What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? “I wonder if it’s mine.”
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead joke
A blonde, a red head, and a brunette were on a plane.
The red head takes a bite of an apple doesn’t like it she throws it out the window.
The brunette takes a bite out of an orange doesn’t like it she throws it out the window.
The blonde takes a bit of a bomb doesn’t like it she throws it out the window.
They get out of the plane. They come up to a little boy asks why he is crying! he says “An apple fell on my dog and killed my dog.”
They keep walking and come up to a little girl and asks why she is crying. She says” An orange fell on my cat and killed my cat.”
They keep walking. They come up to a blonde laughing her head off. “Why are you laughing so hard?” they said. “When I farted the building blew up!”
Why did the blonde get excited about finishing a jigsaw puzzle in six months? Because the box said, “2-4 years.”
Why did the blonde stare at the can of orange juice? Because it said “concentrate.”
How do you confuse a blonde? Ask her to alphabetize a bag of Skittles.
Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the bar? She heard the drinks were on the house.
What did the blonde say when she saw the “Closed for Renovation” sign at the library? “Where am I supposed to return my book?”
How did the blonde try to kill a fish? She drowned it.
Why did the blonde get excited after finishing a puzzle in six months? The box said, “2-4 years.”
What do you call a blonde who dyed her hair brown? Artificial intelligence.
How do you keep a blonde busy all day? Put her in a round room and tell her to sit in the corner.
Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet? She didn’t want to wake up the sleeping pills.
Best Blonde Jokes: One Liners
What’s the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? The mosquito stops sucking when you slap it.
How do you make a blonde’s eyes light up? Shine a flashlight in her ear.
Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the bar? She heard the drinks were on the roof.
What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? “I hope it’s mine!”
Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice? Because it said “concentrate.”
How do you confuse a blonde? Give her a puzzle with more than two pieces.
Why did the blonde climb the glass wall? To see what was on the other side.
What do you call a smart blonde? A golden retriever.
How did the blonde try to kill a bird? She threw it off a cliff.
Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the bar? She heard the drinks were on the house.
What do you call a blonde with a PhD? A brainiac.
How do you know a blonde has been using the computer? There’s white-out on the screen.
Why did the blonde bring a spoon to the desert? Because she heard there would be “sandwiches.”
How do you confuse a blonde? Put her in a square room and tell her to find the corners.
What did the blonde say when she saw the Cheerios box? “Omg, donut seeds!”
How do you keep a blonde in suspense? I’ll tell you tomorrow.
Why did the blonde become a firefighter? She wanted to rescue burnt CDs.
What did the blonde say when she saw the “Under 17 not admitted” sign? “I’m only 16!”
Why did the blonde put her iPad in the blender? Because she wanted to make apple juice.
How do you confuse a blonde? Ask her to solve a Rubik’s Cube with one color.
Why did the blonde take a ladder to the bar? Because the drinks were on the house.
What do you call a blonde with two brain cells? Pregnant.
How do you drown a blonde in the bathtub? Put a hairdryer next to it.
We hope you’ve enjoyed reading above mentioned hilarious ‘Blonde Jokes’-
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